I’m What? With What?

More background, so that when I have thousands of readers, I’ll be able to write witty little references to posts like this one, written waybackwhen.

When I was 19 I got married, got pregnant and had my first baby (not necessarily in that order). Then I had another baby. Then I got divorced. Then I got married again. Then I got divorced. Then I got married again. Then I got divorced again.

Now I’m married again (this is the last time, dammit!) and my first two babies are now 21 and 19 years old. I knew I was done having children. I always swore I wouldn’t have more than one baby-daddy. Besides, I was pretty sure I couldn’t have more. My Other Whole (OW) was a 40-year-old childless bachelor. I felt badly that I couldn’t give him a family, which I knew is something he’d always thought he’d have, but life doesn’t always work out the way we think it will (ya can say that again!).

So there we were, enjoying our child-free life, riding the motorcycle, cruising around in his Porsche, eating out wherever and whenever we wanted… you get the picture.

Then I started having strange symptoms. I was bleeding when I shouldn’t and not bleeding when I should. I had a couple of hot flashes. I felt weird. I thought I was starting menopause.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered last year that I was pregnant at 41 years old. Surprise might not be the right word. Shocked, afraid, disappointed, nauseous, worried, guilty for not being more careful and wondering how to tell OW describes it much better.

When I went to the doctor at about 6 weeks, I hadn’t yet told OW and I still wasn’t 100% sure I was pregnant. They did an ultrasound and I was told that I was definitely pregnant and definitely pregnant with twins. I could not believe what the ultrasound tech was saying. I sobbed and refused to look at the screen. When I sat in the OB’s office, he discussed my options with me and then gave me more bad news. He believed it was a mo/mo pregnancy, which would give me about a 20% chance of having two live babies (as it turns out, that figure was completely wrong. While it can’t be “cured”, with very, very close monitoring women have something like an 80 to 90% chance of having two living babies).

I could barely stand up straight when I walked out of there. I was just beyond stunned. I was going to wait a day or two before I told OW so I could calm down, but I’m just not that kind of person. I couldn’t possibly have held it in. I went straight to his office, shaking and crying. He thought I was dying or something.

When I told him I was pregnant his mouth dropped open. When I told him it was twins, his mouth dropped open a little more. We had an emotionally difficult couple of weeks while we tried to just understand everything.

We decided not to tell anyone (and I mean no one) until after we’d had genetic testing done and felt more confident that the pregnancy could be carried to term. After the initial shock, we eased into acceptance and then happy excitement.

We told our family at Thanksgiving. My kids took it really well. My mother didn’t believe me. It really took several minutes of convincing and pointing to my name on the ultrasound for her to believe it was true! My sister has fraternal twins, so my mom was understandably blown away.

OW’s mother had exactly the reaction I expected (I should note here that OW and I weren’t yet married). The first words out of her mouth were, “Well, you’ll have to get married right away! Oh dear, a lot of the family doesn’t even know you’re living together!” LOL – I mean, she was happy but that really was her first concern. She is so thrilled that OW is in a real relationship and is getting married and having kids. I think that worried her to death. I think a lot of the family figured he was gay or something so they’re relieved too. hehehehe. This is the Deep South. People get married and start families young!

It was a rough pregnancy and the boys had a bit of a rough start in life, but now they are beautiful, healthy, screaming, purple-faced, pissing, shitting, snuggling, smiley, cutie-pie babies.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

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Posted on August 10, 2011, in A piece of my soul, Introduction, Pregnancy, Twins. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I am really loving reading your stories! Wow.

    Steph

  2. I’d have been a wreck, too. But, you seem to handle it all with a sense of humor, so yay you (and OW)! 🙂

  3. Hi Jenni, This is my first time visiting your space 🙂
    Your story is absolutely amazing! I had postpartum depression which turned into bipolar disorder and let me tell you…I am 30 now and I worry that my biological clock will run out before I am able to have at least one more munchkin…but your story gave me hope. That there is always time for more 🙂 I am so glad that your babes are healthy!!!

    I look forward to reading more of you 😉

  4. Thanks all! Kimberly – there IS hope. I’m much better now than I was when I was in my 20s and much better now than even 5 years ago. I fought having to take meds. I saw it as a kind of prison. But being on the right one is such a miracle! I still have ups and downs that are probably more than other people, but they pale in comparison to what it was like before.

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