Odd Confession Day
Odd Confession Day
These are some of the weird, random things I think about or do. Surely I’m not the only one… On the other hand, perhaps I am.
* I had a bizarre thought last night: This is probably the last penis I’ll ever touch. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
* I sneak food, even when I’m alone. I’ll buy potato chips at the supermarket, open them in the car on the way home, and then hide them in the car until I can sneak them into the house without OW seeing them. Then I hide them in the back of the pantry.
* Sometimes when one of the twins is crying and crying nothing seems to help, I softly sing him a lullaby in which the only words are “shut up”.
* I pretend my hair color is natural even though people can obviously see my roots peeking out.
* I’m trying to psychically will my twins’ eyes to be blue instead of brown, so they’ll have something from me.
* I made goulash yesterday from pork that was several days past its sell-by date. We’re having it for dinner tonight but I didn’t tell OW about the age of the pork. I’m seriously hoping it won’t make us sick and I feel very sneaky.
* I was rinsing a poopy diaper in the toilet (we use cloth) while baby was on the changing table (I know, I know but he can’t move around yet). He was starting to fuss so I rushed to finish and get the diaper in the pail. Then the other baby started to fuss and I got distracted. I finished with baby number one and went on to baby number two. A while later, while they were napping, I was snacking on some pistachios. I kept smelling something weird and my fingers tasted funny when I licked the salt off. I realized with horror that in my distraction earlier I had failed to wash my hands after rinsing the diaper. Ugh to Nth power.
Confess something to me.
That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.