Odd Confession Day

Odd Confession Day

These are some of the weird, random things I think about or do. Surely I’m not the only one… On the other hand, perhaps I am.

*  I had a bizarre thought last night: This is probably the last penis I’ll ever touch. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

*  I sneak food, even when I’m alone. I’ll buy potato chips at the supermarket, open them in the car on the way home, and then hide them in the car until I can sneak them into the house without OW seeing them. Then I hide them in the back of the pantry.

*  Sometimes when one of the twins is crying and crying nothing seems to help, I softly sing him a lullaby in which the only words are “shut up”.

*  I pretend my hair color is natural even though people can obviously see my roots peeking out.

*  I’m trying to psychically will my twins’ eyes to be blue instead of brown, so they’ll have something from me.

*  I made goulash yesterday from pork that was several days past its sell-by date. We’re having it for dinner tonight but I didn’t tell OW about the age of the pork. I’m seriously hoping it won’t make us sick and I feel very sneaky.

*  I was rinsing a poopy diaper in the toilet (we use cloth) while baby was on the changing table (I know, I know but he can’t move around yet). He was starting to fuss so I rushed to finish and get the diaper in the pail. Then the other baby started to fuss and I got distracted. I finished with baby number one and went on to baby number two. A while later, while they were napping, I was snacking on some pistachios. I kept smelling something weird and my fingers tasted funny when I licked the salt off. I realized with horror that in my distraction earlier I had failed to wash my hands after rinsing the diaper. Ugh to Nth power.

Confess something to me.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.


Posted on September 14, 2011, in Confessions, Food Weirdness. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I confess to being a closet snack eater…because I hate sharing.
    I confess that I also wanted my son to have blue eyes because my husband’s eyes are to die for. I have poopie brown eyes. But my son’s eyes actually stayed the same grey colour that he was born with…weird eh?

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